


Choose

by mooses_gabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 03:08:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooses_gabriel/pseuds/mooses_gabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My friend and I were thinking of things that may happen before the season nine finale. This is close to one of those ideas but I changed it a bit. Just so there is no confusion, Castiel IS human in this story. <br/>~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choose

"I'm sorry," he choked out, the tears cutting ravines down his cheeks. "I a-am s-so so-sor-sorry." Sam gave him a weak smile, and slightly nodded his head telling Dean to just get it over with. Dean released Sam from the embrace and grasped his blade tightly. He lifted it, poised to strike. Sam closed his eyes, waiting for the pain that was ease into death. Dean brought the shining weapon down, and it pierced through flesh. This time there was no undoing it, no turning back now.

_*Earlier*_

"No! I need to get away from you both. Now!" Dean demanded pointing towards the exit of the room. The urgency in Dean's voice alarmed both Sam and Castiel. They have seen him worried before, but this, this was different. This was frantic, pure terror, and it was making them anxious.

"Dean why can't you just tell us what the hell is going on!?" Sam asked loudly, his angst amplifying his voice.

Dean pulled at his hair as he groaned in frustration before kicking the old brick wall in front of him. He felt none of the pain that should have been shooting up his leg. Keeping his back to the two alarmed men, he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Sam watched his older brother with apprehension, while Cas was unfazed and calm.

"Dean, I know it may be hard but can you explain why we need to be away from you?" Castiel said, choosing his words carefully. He didn't want to anger the hunter he had grown very fond of. He knew he felt something for the green eyed man, but would never admit to it, he valued their friendship too much.

Dean rubbed his face with the hand that had been pressing his nose. He opened his eyes and turned his head to the side, still not looking at them. Sam knew he was about to talk so he motions for Cas to say something again.

"Dean-" was all the dark haired main got to say before Dean began.

"When I was... in hell," Dean said in a monotone voice as he cut Cas off. "I did some terrible things. I made some acquaintances, but I mainly pissed people off. I have enemies, many who want me dead, or would hurt you both of you in order to hurt me." He swallowed the lump forming in his throat before continuing, "And, I think some of them have found me, and they'll mean business," he finally turned around to face them. "After all the times I've failed you, both of you, my actions won't be the cause of your deaths. I don't want that. I couldn't live with that if I live."

Sam and Castiel were silent, taking in his words. All three of them knew what Dean's speech implies. If the demons were here for Dean, they were here to kill him. Sam looked down, and Cas had a heartbroken expression etched onto his features.

Dean softly said, "I am going to go somewhere you can't follow me so that they will leave you alone. I swear if you try to save me I will kick your asses," he joked trying to lighten the mood but to no avail. Sam just nodded at the order and Castiel was looking anywhere but Dean.

No more words were spoken What can you say? 'I know you're about to die, and there is nothing I can do to save you. Besides you don't want to be saved, so I guess this is goodbye'?

All three of them were surprised when Cas stepped forward and wrapped Dean in a tight embrace. Dean stood frozen for a moment, in shock, before pulling the fallen angel closer and holding him. Sam raised an eyebrow, but neither man saw for they had their eyes closed. After several long moments, Dean stepped back with an awkward cough to break the silence. Cas looked sheepish while Sam was still looking away since he felt he was witnessing something private for some reason.

Dean said "Well while we are still in one of those chick flick moments come 'ere Sammy," and briefly hugged Sam. Cas suppressed a smirk when he saw how short their hug was. Sam stepped back and Dean laughed at the 'girly' moment.

His laughter stopped when the other two didn't join in. "Alright, well I need to go. Put as much distance between here and yourselves as you can." Dean was back to giving orders.

The two said nothing, but Sam sighed and Cas gave him a curt nod. They were about to go their separate ways when a cynical cackle shook the walls, raising the hair on Dean's neck. "Run" he whisper to his brother and friend. 

They never got the chance.

Several demons appeared, pressing blades to their throats holding Sam and Castiel in place while Dean stood there helpless. "Stop!" He shouting quickly "I'm the one you want, they didn't do anything!"

A dark shadow appeared, a demon without a body to use, or didn't want to use. Dean turned to the familiar shape. "Don't touch them, I swear I'll send your ass back where it belongs," he threatened, but his quivering voice betrayed him.

"You are so bipolar Dean. I was hoping for a little entertainment and here you are ruining the fun." Said the demon in charge.

"Merari, I know what I did was terrible and that there is no way to fix the damage I did, but don't take it out on them. They don't even know half of the things I've done. Kill me and get it over with." Dean was gaining confidence in hopes of showing the demons he meant what he said.

"Oh dear, you really are different when you aren't torturing souls. Pity. The old you was so inspirational. Shall I use what I learned from you to your little buddies here?" Merari questioned.

"No, that isn't what you came here for. You came here to kill me. I don't even care if it's slow and painful, just leave them out of it." Dean said shifting the weight on his feet. Sam was straining his neck against the knife, but a trail of blood was running from the small gash.

Dean glanced at his brother and Cas. He looked at Cas's wide blue eyes and knew how powerless the fallen angel felt. He turned to Merari, "How about a deal?"

"Dean don't," Sam and Castiel said in unison.

"Ohhhhh drama! I love it. Do tell me Dean, what type of deal do you have in mind?" the black shadow asked mockingly.

"You let them go, and never bother them again. In return you can kill me in front of all of hell however you want for as long as it takes me to die." Dean said cautiously.

Cas tried to shake his head at Dean, but only cut his throat more, the blood seeping from his veins. Dean pleaded with his eyes, begging Cas to stop so he could be saved. Sam shouted "Dean-" but was silenced by added pressure on the blade.

Merari chuckled, "I am afraid that is not a deal I would like to make, however it was tempting. I have an idea," the air in the room dropped and the lights quivered, "How about, you listen to my proposal, Dean. You can either kill your brother or your fallen angel boyfriend over here. One lives and one dies. So which will it be?"

Dean was panicking too much to acknowlege the boyfriend remark "No, you can't!" Dean flexed his hands, wanting to punch the damn demon, but unable to because the smartass choose not to possess someone.

"Oh, but Dean, I can. And I will kill both of them and make you watch if you don't choose one. How should I do it? Pin them down and skin them? Cut them open? Or like you should I-"

"Okay Okay! I'll make a different deal," Dean cut him off, not wanting it to be said aloud all the things he did. Sam's eyes widened and Cas looked startled.

"I knew you would. Maybe you are still like the man I saw. You just love to kill people! Hah, Dean, so shall we make the deal?" The demon, though it sounded like a man, had a bit of high pitched words in its excitement, sounding like a kid about to get ice cream.

Dean stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down, defeated. "Alright. So if I chose who dies, you and all of your demonic friends will leave who I did not chose alone for eternity. Correct?" Dean said, picking his words so that the deal was exactly that and there were no loop holes in which the demon could trick him.

"Exactly! I promise none of us will bother the lucky one. As for you, I cannot say I won't be seeing you again when the survivor isn't around. But I am going to let you live with your decision for a bit before I say hello again." The evil shadow cackled at himself.

Dean was still not sure the deal was set in stone exactly how he had said it. "So do we shake hands, or shadows?" The sarcasm showing through just enough to be heard but not so much it was a direct insult.

A fire appeared hovering in front of Dean. A piece of paper was born from the flames. Dean read it out loud for Sam and Cas to hear. 'I will pick someone to die, in return Merari and company will not hunt or harm he who was not picked for death. And, a nice big blank space, why such a big piece of paper? And then two lines for our names... Okay, I agree to this contract." Dean said after a moment.

A small knife was handed to him by one of the demons who wasn't holding Sam or Castiel. Dean looked at them, both had fear and apprehension adorning their faces. Dean closed his eyes for a minute, fingers curling around the handle of the small switch blade. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to draw the sharp silver across his smooth arm.

Blood trailed from the open wound and he dabbed his right hand in it. He pressed his red hand to the paper above one of the lines and when he moved it, a perfect red print outlined his hand on the paper.

"Well I guess it's my turn. I can't calm my excitement!" The paper spun away from Dean and shook as pressure was applied to it.

"Oh it looks like my hand slipped, dear me I've added another term to a contract with your signature on it. Clumsy me!" Merari exclaimed, laughing as spoke.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" Dean shouted, furious and afraid of what may be written on the contract.

"Oh calm yourself will you? I only added that after you chose, you have to be the one that does the killing and if you don't they both die. I think it adds a great twist." The demon deadpanned, but Dean could tell the son of a bitch was smirking.

Dean lunged at the obsidian figure but was smacked by an invisible force and flew across the room, hitting the brick wall. He slumped to the ground, holding his chest, and coughed up a bit of blood.

"Dean!" Cas shouted, "Dean, are you alright!?" hH was panicking, because coughing up blood was serious. Sam was about to shout to Dean but his and Castiel's lips were covered by the demons holding them.

Merari tsked at them. He flung Dean across the room again and pinned him to the floor. His figure appeared next to Dean, whispering in his ear. "I'll kill them so slowly it will take days for enough blood to leave them and let them die. It will hurt them so bad their screams will be heard up in heaven." Only Dean heard this, and Cas and Sam were curious what was being said as Dean's eyes widened and his mouth hung agape.

Dean heaved himself to standing and held out his hand for a weapon. A large blade was placed in his hand and Merari giggled in excitement.

How had the day gone so wrong? Dean had known they would come after him eventually, but he never guessed it would be so soon. He saw Sam, staring at him with his wide brown eyes, waiting for Dean's choice. Dean thought he saw a look of resignation in Sam's eyes, as if his moose of a brother knew and was acceptin what Dean's decision would most likely be.

Dean broke the eye contact, and gazed at Castiel, his wingless angel. He sighed when he thought of how he never got to tell Cas he was in love with him. Dean held Cas's attention as he admired his fallen angel for a moment. Cas had a blank look on his face, being brave for Dean, but the hunter could see the fear in the blue eyes. Castiel was worried Dean would save Sam, after all Cas didn't think very high of himself.

Dean did, though. He thought Castiel was perfect, and regretted waiting until now to have the courage to want to tell his friend about his feelings. He saw the demons growing inpatient, they were pressing the blades against the throats of the two people he had left to love. Dean's breath trembled, his pulse racing. He knew there was only one way out of this; one of them had to die.

Dean cleared his throat "Can I say goodbye first?" His voice scratchy from trying to keep his face void of emotion. He had to remain that way so he could say what he had to before he would break down, sobbing and unable to breathe.

The demon who gave orders to the others nodded his head, "Make it quick. No funny business or both die while you watch."

Dean nodded in understanding. He walked over to Castiel first. The demon imprisoning Cas let go of the fallen angel at Merari's command.

The two humans stared at each other, then Cas placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. Cas spoke softly, with so much emotion, and tears forming in his blue eyes "It's ok Dean."

Dean gripped Castiel tight, fighting back tears. "Cas, I always needed you, even when I didn't know you, I didn't know it but I needed you. And after all we have been through, Castiel, I love you. I am in love with you. I love your big trench coat, and your blue eyes, and how you don't understand all of my references, and that backwards blue tie of yours. I'm in love you, and I am deeply sorry for waiting until now to tell you." Dean placed his hands and Cas's cheeks and kissed him.

Castiel kissed him back, no tongue, just passion. Expressing the words they never said, and may never get to. It was short, too short, but time was limited. Dean pulled away and wiped the tears falling from Cas's eyes. "I love you too Dean" Cas choked out, and sniffed, not bothering to compose himself.

"That's all I ever wanted to hear." With a final look of love, Dean released Cas and let his arms fall, his fingers trailing those damn sleeves he thinks are so cute on Cas. He turned away before he runs out of time to talk to Sam. He forced the tears blurring his vision to stay in his eyes as he walked to Sam.

"Sam, I know you are probably a little smug right now. You always thought I loved Castiel. Well you were right. I am sorry for getting you in to this. I am sorry for being a jerk to you," He paused, voice trembling. Sam pulled his older but shorter brother in for a hug. "I understand Dean, you did what you had too." Sam had tears feely raining from his eyes and on to Dean's head.

Dean continued his speech, "I wish I had been a better brother, I wish you could have had a normal life. I wish Jessica and you had finished college and had gotten married so I could be your best man and joke at how corny you were being. I wish none of this ruined your life. I'm sorry, Sammy." He took a step back.

Merari whispered "Choose." Dean's sobs shook his body as Cas and Sam stood next to him, waiting to see who he would pick.

Dean looked them in the eye and barely was able to say"I'm s-so so-sorry." He lifted the blade and stabbed. Sam's eyes widened as the blade cut through the flesh and ribs into the heart. He cried out, and rushed to catch his falling brother.

"NO!" Merari shouted. "This is cheating you cheap bastard!"  

Castiel and Sam ignored him as Dean lay on the ground in their arms. He weakly smiled at them and said "I chose one person. And you guys are safe from them" he coughed, blood splattering onto his chest. Castiel grabbed Dean's head and placed it in his lap. Sam held his brothers hand. The two of them watched as blood escaped from Dean's heart. Dean smiled at them and said "Don't need me too much." 

Both Cas and Sam's tears were mixing with Dean's blood and the green eyed hunter relaxed and looked into Cas's eyes one last time, "I love you." And then he coughed, dark red blood escaping his mouth. They cried as his eyes glazed over and his heart stopped pumping the blood it kept losing. 

Neither saw the demons leaving in fury, for  they were clutching Dean's body. Cas bent over and kissed his forehead, his tears leaving shiny trails across Dean's face. A shaking hand reached out and closed the green eyes forever. They both knew it. This time there was no coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm adding one shots I wrote a long time ago and holy cow I had forgotten about this one!
> 
> ~Ashley


End file.
